Piece Of Baloney (Dick Nolan) videos
(The Baloney Song)
#848 YouTube video by oldirishladdie
©2009 ~ Used with permission ~

Two Irishmen and a Newfie
once went out for recreation,
They carried enough provisions along
to last a week's vacation;
But they got lost out in the woods,
and the night was dark and lonely,
And all their provisions ran out
except one piece of baloney.

Next morning, when they all awoke,
quarter after seven,
One guy said, "I had a dream,
and I dreamed I went to heaven;
I met St Peter at the gate,
and he was riding on a pony,
I don't think you can beat that dream,
so give me the piece of baloney."

Now the other said, "I had a dream
and it was a double feature,
I also died and went to heaven
and was welcomed by St Peter;
He looked at me, stuck out his hand,
saying, 'Put 'er there, Maloney!'
I don't think you can beat that dream
so give me the piece of baloney."

Now the Newfie said, "I must admit
it's true that you were dreaming,
The reason why I know it's true,
I was dreaming of you all evening;
I saw you two go up above and,
gee, but I was lonely,
I thought that you would never get back,
so I got up and ate the baloney."

Now I hope this'll be a lesson to you
if you go out for recreation,
Make sure you take along enough grub
to last a week's vacation;
The story that I told to you,
I hope you don't think it's phony,
There's always one smart Newf around,
and always a piece of baloney.
Yes, there's always one smart Newf around,
and always a piece of baloney.

####.... Variant of a 19th-century British broadside ballad, Paddy Magee's Dream published by W S Fortey (London) sometime between 1858 and 1885, and archived at the Bodleian Library Broadside Ballads, shelfmark: Harding B 11(2917). Also a localized version of The Three Dreams, a traditional ethnic comedy song published in The Journal of American Folk-Lore, Vol.XXXIV (July-September, 1921), No.CXXXIII, pp.327-328 ....####
Recorded by Dick Nolan (More Dick Nolan, trk#10, 2000, Heritage Music, Scarborough, Ontario); and (My East Coast, trk#16, 2001, Heritage Music, Scarborough, Ontario).

See more songs by Dick Nolan.

A variant was arranged and recorded by Anselm Francis Hann (Port Royal Legend: A Tribute To The Hann Family, trk#14, 2000, published by Anselm Hann).

Another variant was arranged and recorded by Rocky from the Rock [Michael Doucette] with the following second verse:

Now one guy said, "You must admit
there's no use in waiting,
There's not enough provisions left
to keep us all from starving;
I suggest we go to bed.
"No!" said Maloney,
"Whoever has the nicest dream
can eat the piece of baloney."


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