Mr Home Hardware (Buddy Wasisname) video
#1867: YouTube video by oldirishladdie
©2011 ~ Used with permission ~

He's Mr Home Hardware,
he's Mr Canadian Tire,
He can't wait for the mail
for to pick up those colourful flyers;
He's got all kinds of gadgets
in a workshop that looks mighty cool,
Mr Do-It-Yourself with an arsenal
of ten thousand tools.
If it rattles, he glues it;
if it separates, he screws it.
If it breaks off, he glue guns it on;
If there's a problem, he licks it,
'cause he's Mr Fix-It,
He loves it when something goes wrong.

He's got all kinds of rigouts
to keep himself physically fit,
He faithfully uses them once,
then in the basement they sit;
Never questions or wonders if
it's all just a scam or a fad,
After one single workout,
wants to look like the man in the ad.
If it pedals, he'll try it;
if it treadmills, he'll buy it.
If it vibrates, he hands out the cash;
When his house gets too cluttered
his wife moans and mutters,
And most of it's thrown out as trash.

He's got a vegetable garden
that measures only twenty feet square,
But he owns more garden equipment
than the country of Zaire;
Super high-speed, deluxe garden gadgets
that stand to the test,
And the latest in poisons
to destroy undesirable pests.
If it wriggles, he'll spray it;
if it slithers, he'll slay it,
If it lays eggs, it's Ambush® or Raid®;
He's proud of his harvest,
he thinks that it's marvelous,
Five dollars he's probably saved.

Now his greatest of passions
is gathering up good fishing gear,
To go out to the lake for one day
every five or six years;
He'll tell you his efforts will result
in some food on his plate,
But we know he will never
recover the worth of his bait.
If it sparkles, he'll try it;
if it glitters, he'll apply it,
If it rotates, he's wildly impressed;
No matter what the price is,
he loves those devices,
Displays them all over his vest.

He's Mr Home Hardware,
he's Mr Canadian Tire.

####....Wayne Chaulk of Buddy Wasisname and the Other Fellers ....####
Recorded by Buddy Wasisname and the Other Fellers (D'Lard Liftin', trk#10, 1998, Third Wave Productions, Gander, NL); and (I'm Looney, trk#9, 2002, Third Wave Productions, Gander, NL)

See more songs by Buddy Wasisname.


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