The Hymn (Ben Weatherby) video
#724: YouTube video by oldirishladdie
©2009 ~ Used with permission ~

Come on, boys, drinks all around,
we've had a real good supper.
If a man goes out with another man's wife,
he's a fool if he doesn't....

Send his kids to college,
send them off to school;
'Fore they learn their ABC's,
they're playing with their....

Teacher and his rabbits,
eating from the bowl,
Runnin' around the rabbit hut,
sniffin' each other's....

'O' stands for orange,
'R' stands for rice;
'F' stands for something else,
it's naughty but it's nice.

Frisco is the place for me,
fishin' by the pool;
If I can't catch 'em with my line,
I can catch 'em with my....

Dainty little finger,
so slender and so slim;
I can get all five of them at once
inside my girlfriend's....

Pockets can be useful,
while walkin' down the halls,
For if you have some holes in them,
you can fumble with your....

Money, if you have some;
if not, get some more;
And you can spend what's left of it
on some dirty little....

Turkish bath and manicure
makes you look so smart;
Remember in the social world,
it's good to let a....

Swear word pass your lips,
or walk in public humming;
There are some in the social world
they think it's worse than....

Biting your nails in public
or even in the class;
And if you cannot scratch at all,
be sure to scratch....

The stuffings of a pencil,
all in little chips;
Remember that the waitresses
have lovely little....

Tidbits on their platter,
so if you like 'em scrape em';
And if they won't come willingly,
don't hesitate to....

Come and have a drink with me
to end this song of mine.
I had a date at half past eight,
and now it's half past nine.

####.... Author unknown. Variant of a traditional bawdy drinking song ....####
This variant and the variant featured in the video above arranged and recorded by Ben Weatherby (You Can't Fool A Newfoundlander, trk#7, 1973, Independent, Toronto, Ontario).

See more songs by Ben Weatherby.

A longer variant of this song was popularized by Oscar Brand of Winnipeg, Manitoba [Canadian naturalized U S citizen b.1920] (Bawdy Songs Goes To College, trk#4, 1955, Audio Fidelity, New York).

Liner Notes by Oscar Brand: "The melody and many of the words were supplied by John Runge, but the cement which finally made the song possible for recording was applied by a School Of Mines student backstage at Denver's Exodus Club. The song has a sneaky way of avoiding the nasty words expected of it which reminds one of The Dream Song, 1884, and Sweet Violets, 1847."


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