While I Was On The Jury (Johnny Burke)

Kind friends, I crave your precious time,
my conscience for to ease,
And if your hearts are not
as cold as July bumblebees;
And when you hear my story out,
for sympathize you can,
To hear the doleful wailings
of a broken hearted man.

When I returned that afternoon,
my better half to miss,
And when I asked the children
they answered, Tis, Sis, Sis;
I nearly lost my temper,
for my mind was in a fury,
To think my wife should run away
while I was on the jury.

I was summoned as a juryman,
a heavy case to try,
Where Dunn's bulldog Towser
nearly ate a little boy;
And I wish he had to fix the job
when he got in the maul,
Suspenders, boots and overalls,
long rubbers, socks and all.

I searched the house upstairs and down,
but not a soul came nigh,
I cried out, Emma, darling,
are you hiding on the sly?
And not an answer did I hear
to make my heart beat smart,
I then got very pious on
a piece of home-made tart.

I knew a chap her eye was on
to ruin my joyful life,
A Frenchman called Morriarity,
for he walked off with my wife;
And I'd fight him to a finish
if his face I chance to see,
Suppose I have to walk on stilts
by land to Sante Fe.

And when I asked the little ones
in language rather loud,
I had to stoop my pimple
to escape such flying cloud;
For china dogs and candlesticks
flew 'round my head with fear,
While sniffles and old tablespoons
did carom on my ear.

####.... Johnny Burke [1851-1930] of St John's, NL ....####
Published in Burke's Ballads, pp.30-31, c.1960, compiled by John White and archived at Memorial University of Newfoundland, Libraries, Centre For Newfoundland Studies - Digitized Books collection.

See more songs by Johnny Burke.

From A Dictionary Of Slang And Unconventional English, 8th ed, 1982, by Eric Partridge [1894-1979], edited by Paul Beale, page 884:
Pimple - def. 2: head: 19th to early 20th century (1900-1930).

From Dictionary.com:
Maul - (in rugby) a loose scrum that forms around a player who is holding the ball and on his feet


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