Damn The Ever (Johnny Burke) MIDI

(Sung To The Air: When I Was Single)

I married a girl called Ann Steer,
She had a face like a man on the beer;
When she opened her mouth,
like a salmon peel trout,
I thought her a duck of a dear.
She was lovely before we got wed,
And the kind loving words that she said;
But ever since that I'm as tame as a rat,
And my features are worn to a thread.

Again, again, and again,
I wish I was single again,
I wish I could slip her
this Boston round-tripper,
I wish I was single again.

Her mother she came in one day,
Intending an hour for to stay;
But she's there since last fall
and she won't go at all,
No notion of going away.
If I only sits down to my tea,
Herself and her ma turns on me;
If I open my mouth then
I'm floored with a clout,
For I'm like an old stunned bumble bee.

Again, again, and again,
No wonder I never feel gay,
I stutter and stammer
since I wed bag of hammers
I married last Candlesmas Day.

You should see my mother-in-law,
A party well hung on the jaw,
And the best pair of sox that I had in my box
She gave to her loving papa.
She gave my hammer tail coat
I wore last election to vote,
And my bell topper hat
she likewise gave him that,
And a collar up tight to his throat.

Again, again, and again,
I wish i was single again.
No wonder I weep when I married this heap,
I wish I was single again.

She took the cold shivers and died,
I can't say I mourned or cried;
On the funeral day, I said, HIP, HIP, HURRAH!
As the pall bearers dropped on each side.

If there's any young girl in the hall
Wants her name to be changed in the fall,
Let her just call on me, I'm the real jamboree,
If her bank account isn't too small.
I will call her my ducky and hubs,
And bring her each night to the clubs;
And she'll get on the bill in the Ladies' Auxil,
If I only can muster the dubs.

Again, again, and again,
I wish I was killed in the wars;
No wonder I sigh, I'm in bed since July,
Since her father walked off with my drawers.

####.... Johnny Burke [1851-1930] ....####
Published in Burke's Popular Songs, page 15, 1929, Long Brothers, printers, St John's, NL.

See more songs by Johnny Burke.

From the Dictionary of Newfoundland English:
Salmon Peel - Atlantic Salmon Salmo salar (thought by some to be a trout). A five-to-ten-inch fish which has the coloration and form of a full grown salmon. They are sometimes called land-locked salmon.

From Wikipedia:
Bell Topper Hat - tall, flat-crowned, broad-brimmed hat, predominantly worn from the latter part of the 18th to the middle of the 20th century. As of the early 21st century, it is usually worn only with morning dress or white tie, in dressage, as servants' or doormen's livery, or as a fashion statement. The standard crown shape nowadays is the 'semi-bell crown', while 'full-bell crowns' and 'stovepipe' shaped toppers are rarer.
Hammer Tail Coat - dress coat, sometimes called a swallow-tail or claw-hammer coat, is the coat that has, since the 1850s, come to be worn only in the evening by men as part of the white tie dress code, also known as evening full dress, for formal evening occasions. It is commonly referred to as just a tailcoat, but amongst tailors (both British and American) and dress historians it is called a dress coat traditionally to differentiate it from other types of tailcoats.


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